“The Devil with an Angel’s Smile” was just published

Willie Hall is a confused 18 year old trying to find his purpose in life. He becomes fascinated by 30 year old Bella Myra, who is a spiritual teacher, blogger and social media celebrity. The desire to be with Bella takes Willie miles away from Utah to Costa Rica. He joins a 2 year diploma in New Age Spirituality at Flora, a spiritual retreat cum learning center run by Bella and her husband, Marcel.

Willie has a revelation during the Inner Child Meditation. He has been abused as a child by his own dad. Through hypnosis and other techniques that tap into the subconscious, Willie learns that he was a famous gay man in his past life. Furthermore, Willie learns that he is a woman trapped in a man’s body.

Will Bella Myra help Willie get in touch with his true inner self?



The Devil with an Angel’s Smile

Subtitle: Feminized by a Spiritual Catalyst

Author: Yu Sakurazawa

***

Chapter 1 – My Life’s Purpose

According to my aunt Mary, my birth in Salt Lake City Hospital was a doomed one for my father.

My father had been present at the birth together with his sister Mary. He was holding my mom’s hand and murmuring reassurances in her ear. He had suddenly been pushed back by the medical team. He had felt them panic and drop the forceps on the floor with shock. My dad had been confused as to what had been happening. Then, dad had been aware of color: of the doctor’s white coats and strong blinding lights. The glare had been so harsh that my dad’s head had started reeling.

Then he had seen blood. The red of mom’s blood had been everywhere, in rivers and torrents. My dad had felt his head reeling. His world had eventually turned dark.

When he regained consciousness, the doctors had broken the news to him. Mom had lost much blood and had died of heart failure. Somebody had evidently cleaned me up and handed me over to my bereaved dad. With my blonde baby fuzz and soft grey eyes, I had reminded my dad of mom.

At first, my father had felt pure, unadulterated love for me. After all, I was the living, breathing proof of the profound love that had existed between him and mom. However, as days progressed, dad started missing mom badly. Her demise had left a void that he realized nothing could fill.

It was then that he had apparently started hating me. I was the one who had been the cause of his beloved wife’s death. Our housekeeper narrated an incident when I had been bawling for quite a long time, but dad had not even bothered to pick me up. My horrified nanny had apparently emerged from the bathroom and pacified me. She and the housekeeper had been shocked by the apathy exhibited by my dad. Since that day, dad had remained distant and aloof from me.

Dad became a recluse after mom’s death. He spent all his time either in his office or in his study. I was brought up by a string of nannies and governesses. Dad spoke to me only functionally. He didn’t seem to care whether I ate, studied or slept. He had enough money to keep me in moderate luxury, but all I yearned for was his love. I wanted dad to speak to me, take me out and wished to be cocooned in his warm fatherly embraces. But such was my fate that dad never even patted me on the shoulder. He detested me so much that he shirked away from my touch.

He gave all his energy to his company. I tried to live my life by studying and developing passions like skiing and horse-riding. However, as much as I tried, I found it difficult to develop an emotional bond with anyone. The lack of a solid support system led me to deteriorate in academics, develop a mild heroin addiction and lose interest in activities that I had previously enjoyed. I graduated from high school with only average grades.

The downslide in my academic record caused me great frustration. However, I always depicted a keen interest in law. I was riveted to “Suits”, a television show on corporate lawyers and read Erle Stanley gardener’s Perry Mason’s books by the dozen. Perry Mason was a brilliant lawyer cum detective. I was fascinated by him in suits. Going by my obsession with law, dad assumed that I was going to study at Harvard Law School as join his company as the company lawyer. I went to a tacky party to booze and snort away my fears. I returned home at 5 am the next morning; stoned and reeking of sex with some cheap slut. Dad was in his study. He emerged out of it, red with fury and yelled at me for having been away for the entire night.

“You stupid little bastard!” he bellowed “don’t you have any concerns about your future?!”

“No” I said and laughed in his face. Before dad could fly at me and slap me hard, I ran up to my bedroom and banged the door shut. I was lost and didn’t know what my purpose in life was. In fact, I hardly knew what to do next.

I picked up my smartphone and started browsing through random YouTube videos. A breathtakingly gorgeous woman caught my eye. She was a white Caucasian female of about 30, with shimmering dark hair and sensual green eyes. The description of the video said, “Find your negative imprint, find your life by Bella Myra”.

Bella Myra. I enunciated the name slowly and deliberately. It sounded so sensuous and exotic, like the woman herself. I clicked on the video. In the video, Bella spoke about finding the opposite of what you like, so that you could pinpoint your desires more accurately. For example, if you hated darkness, you desired more light in your life.

Bella’s voice was low, husky and seductive. I felt myself getting drawn in.

I also listened to Bella’s words. I paused the video and reflected on what I hated. The list comprised of failure, chaos and hatred, which meant that I desired success, clarity and love.

If Bella had been able to draw the above life-changing answers from me, she must be a good spiritual teacher indeed. I became more interested in the woman. A quick google search told me that Bella was a new-age spiritualist, blogger and a Costa Rica-based spiritual practitioner. She claimed to have psychic powers and extrasensory abilities like telepathy, clairvoyance, clairsentience et al. Bella also ran a non-profit organization called Myra Foundation, which reportedly aimed at bringing about positive changes in the world.

Bella claimed to be a reincarnation of Indian spiritual master Jiddu Krishnamurti. She claimed to be from another planet and had apparently come to earth to change the course of events. She had walked the aisle multiple times and was currently married to a man called Marcel Garrel, who worked with her.

I noted Bella’s supernatural beauty and the conviction with which she taught. Maybe, other dimensions really existed and Bella could help me get in touch with the truth of who I really was. Maybe Bella could also help me get in touch with mom, a woman I had barely got a chance to meet…

I ran a quick internet search about the courses Bella Myra offered. Bella owed a retreat called Flora in the heart of Costa Rica, where she offered short meditation courses and a 2-year diploma in “New Age Spirituality”. The course covered techniques to activate chakras – the third eye, the heart chakra, the throat chakra and so on. Bella also invited experts in yoga, breatharianism and the like to deliver lectures to its students. The course fee was a whopping $ 90,000, which was nearly double the fee at Harvard Law School.

I was pensive for a few moments. My dad had assumed that I’d study law at HLS and work as a legal adviser at his company. He’d pinned his ambitions on me, yet didn’t nurture me the way he was supposed to. Dad seemed to be under the impression that hate, anger and resentment would egg me on to be an achiever.

I needed nurturing and support by a woman, preferably a gorgeous woman like Bella Myra. I would attend a sample session organized by her and then decide whether I wished to take the two-year course or not. To attend the sample session, I’d have to travel to Costa Rica.

It was difficult to get dad’s permission to travel 3 thousand and odd miles just to attend a sample class, but I managed. It was a relief to get away from the dry arid desert-like Utah to the lush, tropical Costa Rica.

Flora Center was a beautiful retreat, with rich green wide open spaces and fountains. The interiors were calming, adorned with a huge statue of the Buddha, meditation crystals and aromatic healing oils. They were also decked with Bella’s “Frequency Paintings”, each representing a different vibration in the universe. Bella believed that each situation in our lives was of a certain frequency, just like channels in a radio. She claimed that she could visually see the components a particular frequency was comprised of. For instance, she saw “Wealth” as a specific design. The frequency of “Love” appeared in a certain way to Bella. She would paint the design she saw, so that those who looked at the paintings assumed its frequency. For example, if I wanted love in my life, I would be exposed to a painting which represented love. I would eventually vibrate at the same frequency as the painting and attract love into my life.

In the evening, I was supposed to take the synchronization class. I took a seat among 20 other people opposite a stage, which seemed to be meant for a performer. I stole a glance at the other group of 20 people; they seemed to be an assorted group of different ages. According to Bella Myra, if a given number of people had chosen to congregate in a room, it meant that they had similar problem and similar desires. I glanced around at the lackluster tabbies, old stooges and hippie buffoons around the room. “Do you all yearn for love?” I wondered. “Do you all want a direction in your life?”

Before I could reflect further on Bella’s questions, Bella strode on stage. She wore a flowing green Gucci gown, stiletto heels and skilful makeup. Her face wore a brilliant, slightly predatory smile and her long legs were tattooed with several little motifs.

I felt the energy in the room changed. It was full of something raw, primal and sexual. Bella was a spiritual teacher and at the same time had an undeniable raw carnal appeal to her.

“Good evening, everyone” Bella said in her low, husky voice “welcome to my synchronization workshop. As some of you may know, I’m able to visually observe vibrations. Please feel free to ask me your questions. Though you may not realize it, the problem of one is problem of another. The desire of one, is the desire of another. Please don’t just sit there thinking, “this question does not apply to me” because it does. If it didn’t, it wouldn’t have come into your life. Keep that in mind and listen carefully”.

Bella spoke peremptorily, like a queen talking to her slaves. Her speech had the quality of an actress delivering the performance of her life.

Yet I loved the woman. She was so full of life that she passed on the vibes to me. I didn’t feel like the neglected son of a still-grieving husband anymore. I felt like a living, pulsating creature I was supposed to be.

People began asking questions in a shy, hesitant manner. Bella took on all the questions with panache and answered them as skillfully as she applied her makeup. In the middle of answering a question, Bella stopped mid-sentence and gawked at me. The group of 19 assembled people followed her gaze. As Bella’s sensuous green eyes seared my body and soul, I felt a slow blush creep up my smooth pink face. The Goddess was looking at me!

“Hello, young gentleman” Bella said almost flirtatiously “what’s your name?”

“Willie Hall” I said feeling my heart hammer away in my pigeon chest.

“Your aura is pure crystal white, Willie” said Bella “if your Kundalini Shakti is awakened, you’ll have limitless potential. It could change your life and that of those around you”.

“Kundalini Shakti…” I said blinking confusedly “what’s that please?”

“Kundalini Shakti is the divine power lying latent in every human being” Bella said “it lies coiled in the base of your spine, much like a serpent. When awakened, it travels through your spine and reaches your crown chakra. Then, you are a super powerful, super intelligent person”.

I was awestruck at Bella’s observation. Up to this point, I had just thought of myself as a lost kid who had traveled all these miles in search of spiritual succor. And now, I was being told that I had a high probability of channeling a power, which could make a great difference not only in my life, but also in the lives of other people.

“How do I access this power?” I asked.

“You could try awakening it by practicing the fire breath” said Bella Myra spewing forth a series of short exhalations through her lovely nostrils “otherwise, I could teach you, if you take up the 2-year course here at Flora”.

I nodded. I had come to a decision. I would study meditation and yogic practices at Flora for the next two years. I mentally said goodbye to HLS and “hello” to a new way of life.

The Devil with an Angel’s Smile

Subtitle: Feminized by a Spiritual Catalyst

Author: Yu Sakurazawa

***

Chapter 1 – My Life’s Purpose

According to my aunt Mary, my birth in Salt Lake City Hospital was a doomed one for my father.

My father had been present at the birth together with his sister Mary. He was holding my mom’s hand and murmuring reassurances in her ear. He had suddenly been pushed back by the medical team. He had felt them panic and drop the forceps on the floor with shock. My dad had been confused as to what had been happening. Then, dad had been aware of color: of the doctor’s white coats and strong blinding lights. The glare had been so harsh that my dad’s head had started reeling.

Then he had seen blood. The red of mom’s blood had been everywhere, in rivers and torrents. My dad had felt his head reeling. His world had eventually turned dark.

When he regained consciousness, the doctors had broken the news to him. Mom had lost much blood and had died of heart failure. Somebody had evidently cleaned me up and handed me over to my bereaved dad. With my blonde baby fuzz and soft grey eyes, I had reminded my dad of mom.

At first, my father had felt pure, unadulterated love for me. After all, I was the living, breathing proof of the profound love that had existed between him and mom. However, as days progressed, dad started missing mom badly. Her demise had left a void that he realized nothing could fill.

It was then that he had apparently started hating me. I was the one who had been the cause of his beloved wife’s death. Our housekeeper narrated an incident when I had been bawling for quite a long time, but dad had not even bothered to pick me up. My horrified nanny had apparently emerged from the bathroom and pacified me. She and the housekeeper had been shocked by the apathy exhibited by my dad. Since that day, dad had remained distant and aloof from me.

Dad became a recluse after mom’s death. He spent all his time either in his office or in his study. I was brought up by a string of nannies and governesses. Dad spoke to me only functionally. He didn’t seem to care whether I ate, studied or slept. He had enough money to keep me in moderate luxury, but all I yearned for was his love. I wanted dad to speak to me, take me out and wished to be cocooned in his warm fatherly embraces. But such was my fate that dad never even patted me on the shoulder. He detested me so much that he shirked away from my touch.

He gave all his energy to his company. I tried to live my life by studying and developing passions like skiing and horse-riding. However, as much as I tried, I found it difficult to develop an emotional bond with anyone. The lack of a solid support system led me to deteriorate in academics, develop a mild heroin addiction and lose interest in activities that I had previously enjoyed. I graduated from high school with only average grades.

The downslide in my academic record caused me great frustration. However, I always depicted a keen interest in law. I was riveted to “Suits”, a television show on corporate lawyers and read Erle Stanley gardener’s Perry Mason’s books by the dozen. Perry Mason was a brilliant lawyer cum detective. I was fascinated by him in suits. Going by my obsession with law, dad assumed that I was going to study at Harvard Law School as join his company as the company lawyer. I went to a tacky party to booze and snort away my fears. I returned home at 5 am the next morning; stoned and reeking of sex with some cheap slut. Dad was in his study. He emerged out of it, red with fury and yelled at me for having been away for the entire night.

“You stupid little bastard!” he bellowed “don’t you have any concerns about your future?!”

“No” I said and laughed in his face. Before dad could fly at me and slap me hard, I ran up to my bedroom and banged the door shut. I was lost and didn’t know what my purpose in life was. In fact, I hardly knew what to do next.

I picked up my smartphone and started browsing through random YouTube videos. A breathtakingly gorgeous woman caught my eye. She was a white Caucasian female of about 30, with shimmering dark hair and sensual green eyes. The description of the video said, “Find your negative imprint, find your life by Bella Myra”.

Bella Myra. I enunciated the name slowly and deliberately. It sounded so sensuous and exotic, like the woman herself. I clicked on the video. In the video, Bella spoke about finding the opposite of what you like, so that you could pinpoint your desires more accurately. For example, if you hated darkness, you desired more light in your life.

Bella’s voice was low, husky and seductive. I felt myself getting drawn in.

I also listened to Bella’s words. I paused the video and reflected on what I hated. The list comprised of failure, chaos and hatred, which meant that I desired success, clarity and love.

If Bella had been able to draw the above life-changing answers from me, she must be a good spiritual teacher indeed. I became more interested in the woman. A quick google search told me that Bella was a new-age spiritualist, blogger and a Costa Rica-based spiritual practitioner. She claimed to have psychic powers and extrasensory abilities like telepathy, clairvoyance, clairsentience et al. Bella also ran a non-profit organization called Myra Foundation, which reportedly aimed at bringing about positive changes in the world.

Bella claimed to be a reincarnation of Indian spiritual master Jiddu Krishnamurti. She claimed to be from another planet and had apparently come to earth to change the course of events. She had walked the aisle multiple times and was currently married to a man called Marcel Garrel, who worked with her.

I noted Bella’s supernatural beauty and the conviction with which she taught. Maybe, other dimensions really existed and Bella could help me get in touch with the truth of who I really was. Maybe Bella could also help me get in touch with mom, a woman I had barely got a chance to meet…

I ran a quick internet search about the courses Bella Myra offered. Bella owed a retreat called Flora in the heart of Costa Rica, where she offered short meditation courses and a 2-year diploma in “New Age Spirituality”. The course covered techniques to activate chakras – the third eye, the heart chakra, the throat chakra and so on. Bella also invited experts in yoga, breatharianism and the like to deliver lectures to its students. The course fee was a whopping $ 90,000, which was nearly double the fee at Harvard Law School.

I was pensive for a few moments. My dad had assumed that I’d study law at HLS and work as a legal adviser at his company. He’d pinned his ambitions on me, yet didn’t nurture me the way he was supposed to. Dad seemed to be under the impression that hate, anger and resentment would egg me on to be an achiever.

I needed nurturing and support by a woman, preferably a gorgeous woman like Bella Myra. I would attend a sample session organized by her and then decide whether I wished to take the two-year course or not. To attend the sample session, I’d have to travel to Costa Rica.

It was difficult to get dad’s permission to travel 3 thousand and odd miles just to attend a sample class, but I managed. It was a relief to get away from the dry arid desert-like Utah to the lush, tropical Costa Rica.

Flora Center was a beautiful retreat, with rich green wide open spaces and fountains. The interiors were calming, adorned with a huge statue of the Buddha, meditation crystals and aromatic healing oils. They were also decked with Bella’s “Frequency Paintings”, each representing a different vibration in the universe. Bella believed that each situation in our lives was of a certain frequency, just like channels in a radio. She claimed that she could visually see the components a particular frequency was comprised of. For instance, she saw “Wealth” as a specific design. The frequency of “Love” appeared in a certain way to Bella. She would paint the design she saw, so that those who looked at the paintings assumed its frequency. For example, if I wanted love in my life, I would be exposed to a painting which represented love. I would eventually vibrate at the same frequency as the painting and attract love into my life.

In the evening, I was supposed to take the synchronization class. I took a seat among 20 other people opposite a stage, which seemed to be meant for a performer. I stole a glance at the other group of 20 people; they seemed to be an assorted group of different ages. According to Bella Myra, if a given number of people had chosen to congregate in a room, it meant that they had similar problem and similar desires. I glanced around at the lackluster tabbies, old stooges and hippie buffoons around the room. “Do you all yearn for love?” I wondered. “Do you all want a direction in your life?”

Before I could reflect further on Bella’s questions, Bella strode on stage. She wore a flowing green Gucci gown, stiletto heels and skilful makeup. Her face wore a brilliant, slightly predatory smile and her long legs were tattooed with several little motifs.

I felt the energy in the room changed. It was full of something raw, primal and sexual. Bella was a spiritual teacher and at the same time had an undeniable raw carnal appeal to her.

“Good evening, everyone” Bella said in her low, husky voice “welcome to my synchronization workshop. As some of you may know, I’m able to visually observe vibrations. Please feel free to ask me your questions. Though you may not realize it, the problem of one is problem of another. The desire of one, is the desire of another. Please don’t just sit there thinking, “this question does not apply to me” because it does. If it didn’t, it wouldn’t have come into your life. Keep that in mind and listen carefully”.

Bella spoke peremptorily, like a queen talking to her slaves. Her speech had the quality of an actress delivering the performance of her life.

Yet I loved the woman. She was so full of life that she passed on the vibes to me. I didn’t feel like the neglected son of a still-grieving husband anymore. I felt like a living, pulsating creature I was supposed to be.

People began asking questions in a shy, hesitant manner. Bella took on all the questions with panache and answered them as skillfully as she applied her makeup. In the middle of answering a question, Bella stopped mid-sentence and gawked at me. The group of 19 assembled people followed her gaze. As Bella’s sensuous green eyes seared my body and soul, I felt a slow blush creep up my smooth pink face. The Goddess was looking at me!

“Hello, young gentleman” Bella said almost flirtatiously “what’s your name?”

“Willie Hall” I said feeling my heart hammer away in my pigeon chest.

“Your aura is pure crystal white, Willie” said Bella “if your Kundalini Shakti is awakened, you’ll have limitless potential. It could change your life and that of those around you”.

“Kundalini Shakti…” I said blinking confusedly “what’s that please?”

“Kundalini Shakti is the divine power lying latent in every human being” Bella said “it lies coiled in the base of your spine, much like a serpent. When awakened, it travels through your spine and reaches your crown chakra. Then, you are a super powerful, super intelligent person”.

I was awestruck at Bella’s observation. Up to this point, I had just thought of myself as a lost kid who had traveled all these miles in search of spiritual succor. And now, I was being told that I had a high probability of channeling a power, which could make a great difference not only in my life, but also in the lives of other people.

“How do I access this power?” I asked.

“You could try awakening it by practicing the fire breath” said Bella Myra spewing forth a series of short exhalations through her lovely nostrils “otherwise, I could teach you, if you take up the 2-year course here at Flora”.

I nodded. I had come to a decision. I would study meditation and yogic practices at Flora for the next two years. I mentally said goodbye to HLS and “hello” to a new way of life.


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